You can devote yourself to ministry (even in the Catholic church:) ) without becoming celibate. And it always concerns me when people who have Any history of sexual abuse, even what appears to be minor, choose to become a priest or a nun, sister, whatever particular categories & ministry descriptions there are that I don't completely remember. I heartily and rejoicingly commend your sensitivity to the Holy Spirit and to the call of God on your life. I caution you to do two things: to hear God for yourself, trying to see Him outside of the lens of everyone around you and to know that you know that you know that it is God calling you in a particular direction and not Psyche, disguising herself as an angel of light .
Our benevolent, well meaning communities often package God for us. They put Him in frames and His calling in boxes that they have backed themselves into... Sometimes, for failure to listen closely enough to the voice of God themselves and for failure to recognize the immense creativity God has given us with the gift of free will which He intends for us to use in our co-laboring with Him in bringing the Kingdom of God to mankind. There are many, many kinds of ministry that are so neglected by the majority of the established institutional roles churches have generated to date. There is always a need for new wine skins, to bring the new wine to those in need of it. Be a new wine skin, Friend of Mine!
I think I may be speaking prophetically about your specific situation, by which I mean that I think this gut feeling is one that comes from the Holy Spirit, but ultimately only you can decide what God is telling you about the path you take--if God is speaking to someone else about what He wants for you, be sure that He will tell you too! Even if it takes a little bit after hearing from someone else to really be still and hear what you may not have been able to hear before. Beware of anyone coming and pronouncing you a missionary to Africa, for example, if God has never brought that to your heart before. Talk to your parents, as I know you are planning to do, and talk to your spiritual leaders. Good decisions are not made in isolation, even when the decision you ultimately make parts with the pack because you hear God calling you away from it.
Because you have had your boundaries violated in your past, I believe that you have a great responsibility, a greater responsibility, to aggressively pursue counseling and healing and to make sure that wounds and impulses far below the surface of consciousness are not major invisible motives for moving away from a relationship with a person of the opposite gender and into an exclusive relationship with God which will also entail a relationship with many young people of your same gender, many of whom have also experienced great violations and wounds to their emotional and sexual selves--Make sure that you know that you know that you know that you are running TO the ministry and not AWAY from the intimate relationships that require you to face so much really hard stuff to get totally whole and be a healthy functioning man or woman in relationships He may have ordained for you.
There is no doubt that He is just aching to give us the wisdom we lack--If anyone lacks wisdom, let them ask of God, Who gives to all generously and without holding back,
May the Spirit of God flood your mind and invade your soul with love, power, and sound mind. Cling to it. Wear it like a banner, boldly, fearlessly. Let it flow from your lips, your heart, and your choices, and spread the Kingdom of God through your life everywhere you go!
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