(and don't forget that suck comes from weaning and the notion that you're not measuring up because you're not grown up yet, and don't make it something that it's not. just revisit that whole why are you still on milk when you should be already into the steak of God's word? exhortation-Hebrews 5:12)
anyone who thinks they don't suck without God is heavily deluded. most susceptible to this delusion are cradle-up Christians who've never been tested or tempted outside the little Christian ghettos that they hide in. they somehow manage to construe the fact that they have thrown themselves upon God's undeserved mercy as a spiritual trophy. it's like thinking someone should be given a medal for allowing the ambulance to carry them to ER and the surgeon to save their life when they were minutes away from death. and then proudly wearing that medal around. . .
i went to the hospital when i was mostly dead and i allowed someone more powerful and skillful than myself to save my sorry butt. praise me, praise me, this was an ACHIEVEMENT. someone gave me a gift i didn't deserve and i opened it!! and i kept it!! and i still have it!! and sometimes i even use it!! praise me for all those achievements. and don't mind me while i look down my nose at those who haven't found their care packages yet much less opened or availed themselves of them.
self righteousness is mystifyingly, mind blowingly, oxymoronic, a gross contradiction in terms!
yet somehow it's hardwired into our dna. that little black thread from Adam's seed, and Eve's really brilliant people are just as susceptible to this assinine line of thinking as anyone else. probably even a little moreso. how very pathetic our little human psyches are when it comes to seeing ourselves in the light of Truth.
cradle christians have long lists of sins they've never committed and good deeds they have. and many of them are only too happy to share that with you. they have usually become pretty eloquent at describing the grace of God in prefabricated chunks handed to them by others-not a bad thing when you are still weaning. not an impressive one, however, when you've been a christian for years.
eloquence can be a good cover for comprehension and experience. flowery language can camouflage the fact that you have virtually no understanding of how deeply your sin nature runs and how desperately dependent on God's grace you are. how many christians seem to think they stand higher up on the hill of calvary, closer to Jesus than other sinners, maybe because they bought their tickets early and got good seats. in serious denial about how very equally they stand at exactly the same place at the foot of the cross, utterly helpless to wash away their own sins, just like every prostitute, pedophile, and perpetrator of perversions worthy of perdition throughout space and time. SAME exact predicament.
the list of sins they have not committed is spelled out in flashing neon lights. the list of those they have (either sins of commission or omission) is written in invisible ink and they are afraid even to look at it themselves. we are so much better at deceiving ourselves than anyone else could ever be. the human heart is deceitful above all things. it is as if we believe that if we actually glance into the spiritual mirror of truth and see the beast in our visage we'll just spontaneously explode and be instantly sucked into hell.
the problem is, when you are a bearer of the image of Jesus, if you have never seen what you were/are without Him, when you look in the mirror it's possible for you to confuse His image with yours. to confuse His free Redemption for personal virtue.
i know because i was pretty much a cradle-uppy. and i'll tell you about it a little later. (:
i know because i was pretty much a cradle-uppy. and i'll tell you about it a little later. (:
1 comment:
You're a fucking badass. Oh, so is your blog.
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